Allowing Harnesses Divine Powers

How a one-eyed, rescue horse helped me trust with more clarity, ease and grace.

Note: my co-author Hannah, is at far right of photo

February 2022. Carefree, Arizona. Unexpected changes delayed (mind's view) and paused (divine plan) me in Arizona for two weeks longer than scheduled trip.

Injured dog. New career potential. Aging parents. Circumstances requiring me to stay in Arizona a little longer and wait. Unknown outcomes. Timelines beyond my control.

Surrendering and waiting. Not easy for my vata-pitta mind that often battles platoons of worry and control, when career or personal path suddenly switchbacks.

According to Ayurvedic psychology, Vata mental types feel anxious or confused during unexpected change. The unknown creates fear and worry. The Henny Penny chicken. Pitta types become irritated and impatient. The micro manager.

Switchbacks and Reroutes

My travel change switchbacked me on a divine reroute, that led to Reigning Grace Ranch. A place that helps abused or unwanted horses. My unexpected delay transformed into a sacred pause in the middle of desert.

Like the Israelites wandering decades in the desert, I felt God’s grace reign when surrendering my mental reins to his Divine Blueprint during my delay home to Michigan. And, learned to follow His lead, versus my stubborn, impatient will.

Learning to be led. Rerouting fear to trust. Becoming better at following. All qualities I learned from Hannah- my attentive, gentle therapy horse. She showed me how easy it is to be a comfortable follower when someone trustworthy is leading.

A sacred pause is comfortable expectancy.

Many times over the past 4 years, what at first looked and felt like sudden, stressful unknowns- leaving California, pandemic, job furlough, and job loss, transformed into more amazing experiences according to God’s Divine Blueprint for my Soul's Mission.

Such was my travel delay and ranch adventure.

An Equus Therapy and life coach invited me to Reigning Grace, where amazing grace helped me better harness supreme creative energies. Our session helped me drop reins of control, and more fully accept and trust divine timing.

Through iron gates (ranch, corral, and my mind), I opened more into patient acceptance of where I am in life. Geographical and career...still in transition. Actually, before my Carefree experience, I was antsy in transition. Felt financial stress regarding job scene in a small Northern Michigan town, where both the lake and economy freezes in winter (which lasts 5 months).

Career unknowns had me gripping the reins and chomping at bit. Even though I know God is always providing and Spirit is guiding, my recent home town and career changes episodes crescendoed into chaos this past winter.

Until, grace and Hannah- a painted, rescue mare, reined me home. Helping my mind see stall (verb) in my career, as a cozy stall (noun) of trusting God’s plan and providence for my life. To my heart space, where waiting feels like my Nana’s embrace and Michigan forsythia bushes spring buds.

Giddy up! Baby steps are the miracles.

Driving into ranch, I pass large corrals full of horses, cattle, donkeys, and pigs. Their looks mirror my awareness and curiosity. Sonoran desert air smells like rainclouds, hay, and manure. Parking next to fence, I feel curious excitement.

After Tracy welcomes me with a hug, we walk to another shed. It’s filled with lots of harnesses and ropes. Would you like to pick out a harness? I stare at the harness rainbow. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue purple, pink, white, black. Thick ropes, thin ropes. Lots of choices.

First lesson: Where God guides, He provides abundant choices and resources.

After considering my favorite color- purple, I choose green. For heart center and the saguaro cacti sentries circling the ranch. Tracy invites me to take it off wall.

Second lesson: After pausing and making best decision, take action!

Tracy leads us out of tack shed. Are you ready to meet your horse? I follow her and wonder how I’ll choose the right horse.

We walk to large corral, where about 50 horses of all colors, sizes, and breeds are relaxing or eating at several hay buffets. Already my mind relaxes, feeling excitement becoming curious about my current life path offering new options. Northern Michigan economy freezes up in winter. I need a change of season, for my career. Staying longer in Carefree is showing me how I have the will and power to choose what feels aligned with my Divine Blueprint and Soul’s mission, according to God’s plan for my life.

Third Lesson: Releasing control grip allows grace to reign.

I notice a lone white horse wearing a fly mask. She looks over, then looks away. My eyes return to the herd, scanning and wondering what happens next. A few horses look over, then look away. I'm noticed, yet no one is approaching me. Aha! A life parallel appears.

In my present career pasture- Petoskey, lots of people have noticed me. Just a few have attended some classes and events. No new, substantial corporate or private Ayurvedic wellness coaching clients have approached me.

I’m reminded how the small northern town lacks enough career resources to sustain me full time. And, notice I'm clutching the reins. I relax my grip, just a little. Curiosity about the horses softens my hands and mind. There’s a lot of horses here. As soon as I begin to feel unnoticed, my heart offers up a little poem BIG prayer.

Trusting in a wait, opens divine gate of new possibility.

As if reading my mind, Tracy says, we wait now for your horse to approach. He or she will pick you. She asks me life coaching questions while we wait. Before my focus reroutes to our conversation, I silently whisper a welcome to whoever is going to choose me.

Within minutes, the white horse with fly mask slowing walks towards us. A masked horse. Another life parallel. I tend to mask my stress with smiles and faith affirmations when people ask me “how's it going?. This defensive strategy shields me from getting attacked by judgment or nebby questions. Yet, what I think is protection, is really a wall. An energetic and spiritual barrier to fully experience what or who God sends my way to help and encourage me.

As I soften my grip on harness even more, the white horse is now standing next to me.
Tracy says, “This is Hannah. She's chosen you.”

Tracy asks if I want help with harness. “Yes, I need help. I've never harnessed a horse.”

Another parallel. I need help now. Help recovering and rebuilding my life post 2018 California natural disasters, 2019 move to new state and city, 2020-2021 pandemic related economic losses of being furloughed then laid off from Aveda, and surviving isolation aka a social freeze in my first winter north of the 45th parallel. I've never been in such a puzzle of unknowns, where several major pieces are missing.

Tracy helps me put on harness. Asking for help reveals more life parallels.

Asking for help is a sign of humble strength. My life is a divine matrix with unlimited possibilities. Not a puzzle with limited boundaries. A controlling and fear-filled mind creates stress and limits my creative freedom. An allowing mind and trusting heart, seeks possibilities and sees divine providence in unknowns. An allowing mind becomes a clear, calm mind, trusting in God’s Divine Blueprint for my life purpose- aka Soul’s Mission.

Together, Hannah and I start walking. She trusts me. Our gaits align. Choosing to move forward by allowing to be led. We both experience ease by surrendering to trust.

Fourth Lesson: Surrender in a transformation season creates new space of possibility.

Walking with Hannah, I see how my Petoskey winter, has been a lonnnggg season of BIG transformations. My career and financial reconstruction phase is taking longer than expected. Stress patterns of fear and worry are showing me how my time-related expectations become mental and creative road blocks. And, rob me of clarity, ease, and peace- creative kindling for successfully manifesting next career chapter. Having expectations is like opening a can of whoop-ass. Whereas, being expectant and confident of myself and miracles, opens my heart.

As Hannah and I settle into a harmonic gait, I feel my heart tether to God’s promises. My mind opens more to divine possibilities in next career transformation. With Hannah easily following me, I am reminded how much more easy I feel navigating change or loss, when I remember I am eternally tethered to God’s provision and love.

I promise God that I will match His gait regarding timing of my next move and career chapter. My grip relaxes even more. As Hannah continues to trust me, our gait syncs into a quiet, joyful rhythm.

Fifth Lesson: Trust helps me adjust to God’s Divine Timing.

I am amazed at Hannah's willingness to trust me. Within ten minutes of meeting, Hannah allows me to take off her mask; then, lead her out of large, open corral. Away from her herd. Across the desert paddock. And, she allows me to walk her.

Tracy asks how I feel. “I’m holding reins, but not steering. It feels easy.”

Easy. Why do I doubt the easy way?

Tears fall. I clearly see my old stubborn, perfectionist mental grips. Another aha hallelujah.

As if needing to add her own horse sense, Hannah exhales, reminding me how exhales are the releasing and letting go breath. Another parallel to my life.

When I remember to release control and trust in God’s divine timing for my life, I easily transform my control into divine surrender.

Sixth Lesson: Surrender leads me onto path that merges onto my Soul’s Mission according to God’s Divine Blueprint for my career.

Hannah’s surrender to my lead shows me how allowing can be easy. Allowing to be led feels like freedom and rhythm. Hannah stops and leans into me. I feel her breath on my hand. My heart whispers, “sweet Kel, allow yourself to be led. Trust God and His Divine Blueprint for your next home and career chapter.”

I stroke Hannah's neck, as we move through another gate, and into another open space. More openings. New space. More room to move and explore new places and possibilities.

We continue walking. Together. A slow, steady, rhythmic pace. Choosing to move forward. And, allowing to be led.

When Hannah pauses, I wonder if something is wrong. She looks around, peers back at me, and remains still. Her pause feels like a sacred sign. I look around. Soft desert sands. Saguaro sentries. Distant mountains dusted in snow. Last night's winter storm is now remnant cloud billows. Carefree just beyond.

Just beyond my Petoskey winter, there is a springtime of a carefree life. A place beyond my current career and financial desert, there is land flowing abundant with milk and honey.

Hannah’s willingness to follow helps me loosen control reins regarding where my Divine Blueprint is taking me now. The clouds above applaud- Bravo! Keep following heart's cues and subtle signs. And remember, you ARE being led, not wandering.

Walking with Hannah feels easy. I recognize how I often block ease and joy, by thinking I have to blaze the trails. The green harness. Hannah. The gates. The clouds. All reminders to surrender and follow. This stretch of my life journey is not the time or space to lead. It's an opportunity to trust the way. Sometimes spiritual bushwhacking requires me to follow. To allow myself to be led. To step aside, surrender control, and change my stride in order (and holy chaos) to move forward. This IS the path to land of Carefree. And, it flows with ease and abundance.

Release control to know by trusting the One leading The Way

Tracy coaches. Hannah follows. I listen and observe- superpowers for transformation. Hannah relaxes and trusts, as I relax and merge more into curiosity. I reckon old fight or flight patterns. What if I stop mental trailblazing. And instead, visualize myself being led. Led by someone I trust- God. Hannah nickers. I laugh. Hallelujah chorus.

We continue walking. Together. Choosing to move forward, by allowing to be led.

We enter another gate, at our destination. I wonder, what if “I allow” becomes “all wow”. Unshackled and free. Free of having to know which way do I go now. Free of having to make a big decision right now. Hannah's head nudges my low back. I pause and stroke her head. Our stillness feels like freedom.

Free to be in a Sacred Pause, versus a scared wait. Free to be still and wait a little longer, instead of fighting and flighting scenarios of “do I give Petoskey a few more months?” “Or, move to Arizona, closer to my folks and better economy with larger client potential.”

In the round pen, Hannah lets me lead her around the circle. She matches my gait. Half round the circle, tears well in my eyes. I hear God say, “sweet Kellen, walk with me. Let me lead you.”

Tracy asks if I want to try walking without harness. I do. Hannah follows. I stroke her neck as we walk another circle. This time sans harness and lead. Easy, slow strides...together. With each step, I feel more allowance and acceptance about not knowing the way right now. Geographical state. Career path destination. Meeting new clients. I am now allowing the 100% certainty of my vocation to merge into uncertainty and unknowns of "where-abouts" and now-whens". Allowing to be led is harnessing divine powers.

Moving forward with more clarity, ease and grace.

Just like Hannah, free of her harness and fly mask, I am free of self-criticism's shroud and control's noose. Pesky thoughts puncturing my heart with biting remarks like, “you’re just going in circles Kellen”, wane as I continue allowing Hannah to help me. Being unharnessed and seeing what happens in the round pen is strengthening our bond. She leans in to me. I lean into her. (photo below)

During last part of visit, Tracy helps me digest the ahas. Hannah wanders around and returns, wanders and returns. I always welcome her with sweet hellos and soft embraces. Hannah, my prodigal horse, gifts me with one last parallel. She reminds me that when I return to Divine Blueprint, and trust the One leading, allowing to be led returns my mind to faith. I leave the ranch, fully glowing and knowing, this current life chapter- returning to home state of Michigan, is about returning to hOMestate of God's embrace.

Later, resting my friend's cozy, Carefree nest, I wrote a prayer to help me move faithfully forward when fear or doubt threatens to corral me in procrastination or worry.

A prayer to harness hope
Dear God, I continue walking with you. The two of us. Together. Help me move forward, by allowing to be led. Help me walk The Way with you and feel more ease and joy. I promise to trust and allow myself to be led. During times of change, and moments of fear and overwhelm, help me allow grace to rein in my mind, so hope reigns in my heart. I believe faith is a divine harness and prayer the sacred lead rope, tethering me to hope and patience as your Divine Blueprint for this next chapter of my life unfolds in perfect timing. May clarity, ease, and grace circle me always and in all ways, as I continue to spiritually bushwhack the path that leads me forward on my Soul's Mission according to your Divine Blueprint. Yeehaw. Giddy up. Amen.

Ps. On December 1, 2022, I moved to Carefree, Arizona. The perfect housing appeared. And I found new career trailhead and began spiritually bushwhacking a new career and life chapter.

Hannah and Me in Carefree